Stretched, Stressed, Stunned

I keep thinking that I might have a calm, low-key day. I continue to be wrong. Although yesterday was fantastic, it was also draining. As a result, I awoke exhausted and completely discombobulated. I spent the first part of the morning simply getting my bearings. Eventually, though, I remembered that my lawn needed mowing - desperately. Thus, I shook out the last of my cobwebs and tried to get some blood flowing.

I do continue to question my own sanity because it used to take me thirty minutes to mow my lawn. Now that I own a push-reel mower and a lawn sweeper, it takes significantly longer. The added bonus today was that I had not mowed for nearly two weeks. My grass was frighteningly long, particularly in our front yard. When all was said and done, it took me two hours to finish the lawn, and I know that a few spots could have used more passes with the mower. The physical effort drained me, but I remain committed to doing this. I feel good about helping the environment, and an unforeseen benefit is the fact that I am getting better at letting go of some perfectionist tendencies. The reality is that I will NEVER cut every blade of grass, even if I were using a power mower. Beyond the energy drain, though, the extend time I spent on the lawn meant that I needed to get ready immediately for my MOONS-MN planning meeting.

The MOONS-MN planning meeting went extremely well, but it served as a constant reminder of my many undone tasks. We have a social gathering planned for next Saturday, July 18, which will be a fun "snack potluck." We are hoping that the afternoon provides our members with the chance to talk and to interact with one another in a casual and informal way. We also got our September 12 meeting planned. It might the most productive planning meeting that we have ever had. But, that efficiency did not diminish the gnawing sense of anxiety in the back of my brain. I just need to remember that I will keep doing my best and accept what I cannot complete and celebrate what I can.

In many ways, the toughest part of my day was yet to come. As I was on my way home, my wife called. Thankfully, I was not driving because she definitely needed to talk to me. We were on the phone together for the entire twenty minutes that it took to get me home. Then, we talked for another hour upon my arrival. My wife had an extremely difficult interaction with another parent today. It is even more frustrating because this person was essentially attacking our daughter. While some of what this individual said might be true, the reality is that this person was only looking at the situation from one point of view, not taking any of the possibilities for our daughter into account. Even more remarkable, the other person dismissed comments from my wife about some of the struggles that our daughter has experienced. By the time I got home, my wife was seething. By the time our conversation ended, I had worked my own way through seething and was simply sad and disappointed. I think the great misfortune in all of this is that as a result of one parent being overly aggressive and overly involved, two children may lose a friendship. Hopefully, that will not be the case.

I have no doubt that tomorrow will arrive with its own challenges. I hope that narcolepsy will allow me the energy I need to keep working my way back to an even keel. If not, I will do what I can, take a breath, and work to let go of all of my challenges and disappointments.