September Spins (away)

How in the world is today September 30?!? I find it fascinating how time is relative. Moments in my day felt like they might last an eternity, but this month flew by in mere seconds. It is crazy. And, invariably, narcolepsy only exacerbates all of it. I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I don't know when or how I woke up, but somehow by the middle of my first period of teaching, I was frantically creating handouts for my students, as well as their websites for our new projects. It feels surreal at times.

When the school day ended, I managed to blank out that I had a doctor's appointment. Fortunately, I still left the building with just enough time to get my daughter, bring her home and then return to my allergist's office. I then dashed home, ate dinner and got things together for my daughter's volleyball practice. The next thing I knew, I was home again, trying to get some work done before I climbed into bed for the night. The plan was to be in bed by 10 PM, because I need to get back into my routine. Sadly, it is now 10:30 PM, and I am still doing things. Why? I wish I knew. Another crazy narcolepsy quirk is that some of us tend to become MORE awake in the evening hours. Insane!

I am struggling to comprehend how October 1st is tomorrow. I have been teaching for over five weeks already. A piece of me still feels like it is summer, yet another can't think of a time when I did not know my current students. Much of this is "normal" for a school year in general. I just know that my narcolepsy adds bizarre wrinkles to my reality. While I do not have the automatic behavior nearly as often as I did two years ago, I feel like I was close to that today. It scares me that even with a LOT of stimulant in my body that I can still have a day that gives me pause, especially when it comes to driving. I do think that I was safe today, but I was only a notch or two above my "no driving" threshold.

Clearly, I am still in a lull in terms of energy. I also believe that the stress of our first "real exam" in my courses has impacted me. I have a number of nervous students and parents, thus I am working harder. Finally, I know that I am distracted because I am excited for the conference this weekend. How could I not be? An entire weekend of hanging out with other people with narcolepsy? Seriously? It will be amazing. But, I need to stay present with today, not dream about two days from now. I must get my body into bed. NOW!