Mindful of Mystery

My goal daily is to live my life in a state of mindfulness. Given the nature of narcolepsy, I work to accept the world as it comes to me, rather than dwelling on missed opportunities or obsessing about impending events. Since I am naturally a worrier and second guesser, the goal is definitely a stretch goal for me. Even so, I am thrilled to report that I have been far more successful, thus far, at living in the moment than I ever believed that I could be. Many moments still fall into my old patterns, but far more do not. I get chills every time I recognize that grounded in the present. The current week has been a perfect example.

I know that I am "off" this week. That said, though, I have made it to work each day and been able to dialogue honestly with my peers and my students. Even cooler is that I have been attentive to my daughter even with a mountain of correcting looming over my head. On Monday I took her to her volleyball game. Our directions were wrong, but we still managed to be the first to arrive. Eventually, the entire team made it. The girls beat the other team soundly, but more importantly, I had a glorious night with my daughter. Last night, we were off to volleyball practice. Some girls missed practice so the coaches and I played against the girls. It totally wiped me out (and I am still feeling the effects today), but during the scrimmage and on the way home, my daughter and I simply chatted. My work load had increased that day, but I didn't care. My daughter was at the center of my world. Finally, we had our last volleyball game (until next week) today. As had been the case all week, my correcting pile grew, but I was far more interested in watching my daughter's game. They did drop the first game, but came back to win the second 27-25. The intensity was phenomenal, and the lead changed at least 14 times during the game. Finally, the girls overwhelmed the other team in the third match. My favorite highlight came on the last point of the game. My daughter's team actually passed the ball so three people touched it. Cooler still was the head's up move by one of my daughter's teammates. This young woman played the ball off of the net and got it over. As the ball dropped to win the match, all of us (kids and parents) clapped and cheered. The best part remained that I focused my energy on my daughter instead of the multitude of unfinished assignments in my school bag.

I have no delusions that every week will go this well. I also know that my daughter might say something else about the last three days. But, as far as I can tell, I have had one of my best string of days, in terms of my ability to remain mindful. The reality is that I can't control the past or the future, but I can learn to appreciate, enjoy and respect the joy and wonder happening in each second throughout the world around me. Doing that can only strengthen my relationship with my daughter and my wife. In fact the person who gets the most out of doing this is I.