Psychiatric Sounding

I saw my psychiatrist today. I actually love going to see him because he has such a gentle presence. I also like the chance to have a mini-talk therapy session with him. He always reads my therapist's notes before we meet. It is comforting to know that my care is being coordinated between two people that I trust. I also enjoy watching his brain work when he is pondering the drugs that I am taking and what may or may not be a good direction for my anti-depressants.

Today, though, continued the theme that my therapy session began a week ago - being good to me. The funniest, and most unnerving, moment came when my psychiatrist bascially barked at me to put things down and to do a two minute breathing exercise. I had been saying that I need to demand space in my day for doing yoga and exercise, then he pounced. He made the point that often is it had to find the 40 minutes needed for yoga. Instead, he challenged me to use little windows to just mindfully breathe for two minutes.

He made me do it right then! I sat upright in the chair, put my feet flat on the floor, and inhaled deeply. The long, slow exhale was then followed by a couple shallow breaths. Inhale deeply, exhale slow, let all of the tension sink into the chair. Simply release it. Invariably, I felt one thousand times better in that moment. Doing that 4-5 times a day will make a world of difference.

I acknowledged, and he agreed, that the challenge is now to REMEMBER to do it. That brief exercise, and others like it, need to become habit for me. It won't solve everything, but it certainly will help. I still have yoga and exercise as goals - making those habitual as well - but finding tiny ways to balance my day will be an even bigger victory. Within all of it though, I must remember that my narcolepsy makes everything tough. I will forget to breathe some days. I won't have the energy for yoga at times. I will explode despite doing everything "right." It is the reality of my condition. And, that too is okay.