Bursting Brains

I need to get to bed, but my mind has been spinning all night. My day at school was insane and an emotional roller coaster. I have not packed yet for the narcolepsy conference. The VP debate enraged me in every conceivable way. And, I feel like I should do everything I can for my wife before I go. That being said, I know that all of these things are out of my control, except maybe the packing. Although, having taken my Xyrem, I doubt that my packing would be effective at this time.

Writing late night certainly helped my mood. I honestly believe that openly owning the realities of life frees me from many of these issues. Rather than pretending that I can do everything, unloading as I did last night provides me the grounding that I need to accept my life. I have a chronic illness. It causes me to be fatigued and exhausted every moment of every day, even when I take large doses of stimulants. As a result I can NOT do more than I am. My work and efforts as a husband, dad, teacher, friend, person, citizen and PWN are good enough. The fact that I accomplish anything is awesome because I have narcolepsy.

I need to head to my bed, knowing that tomorrow will bring its own challenges and realities. I do think I am getting better at the "acceptance" thing, but it still drives me nuts at times that I can't do what I want. Sleep is in order though. In fact it is imminent since the Xyrem is reaching full force. Tomorrow, I am bound for Milwaukee. I can't wait!