Decent Doctoring

I have certainly railed here about my poor health care experiences. I also hope that I have acknowledged that I am lucky in many regards with my medical care. My therapist, psychiatrist, acupuncturist, chiropractor, massage therapist, otolaryngologist, and primary physician are all excellent. One thing that I did not feel completely confident about, though, was my pulmonary doctor - the person most responsible for treating my narcolepsy. I certainly knew that he had experience with narcoleptics, but the last time I saw him was in March. At that point I had not found any online support, had not been to MOONS, had not written anything on this blog, and (most importantly) had not started coping with this disease.

Since that appointment, I have learned a ton about myself. I also have learned a great deal about this condition. Reading the horror stories of other narcoleptics and beginning to recognize how infrequently even pulmonary doctors encounter narcolepsy, I began to wonder about my own care. My doctor seemed to be doing things right, but I still had my doubts. I felt so alone and unsure in March. I had no idea what to ask or what "normal" might be. Maybe, my doctor was simply humoring me and didn't have a good idea of how to treat me...

I have never been happier to admit that I was completely wrong to doubt him. I finally saw him again yesterday, and the appointment went extremely well. Certainly, I have much to continue to learn about how I am going to live with this condition, but we had a fantastic conversation. He clearly knows what is happening in terms of research and treatment. He is also wonderfully personable (which I have always enjoyed about him) and definitely cares about both my physical condition and my mental condition. It was comforting to leave his office firmly knowing that I have an excellent physician guiding me medically in this journey. The biggest thing for me was my decision, after talking to him, to try using "medication holidays." On weekends and longer school breaks, I will actually not take my stimulants when possible. By holding off at those times, I hope to increase the effectiveness of the stimulants during my work week. I am also hoping that it will keep me from needing to increase my doses as my condition progresses. It may not work, but at least it gives me something to attempt since I already feel like my stimulants are less effective than they were before.

My doctors can only make a partial difference in how I live with narcolepsy, but it sure feels wonderful to have sincere confidence in them. Doubt is often one of my worst enemies. It often rattles around in my brain causing me tremendous stress - usually highly unnecessary stress. Having this confidence allows me to focus my energy on settling into a good routine and adapting to the patterns of my day, rather than pondering whether I am on the right meds or at the correct dose. I am grateful for the decent doctors in my life!