All My Heroes are Women

Maybe it is carryover from Mother's Day, but it struck me today that a majority of my heroes right now are women. I know I am not the only person who would fall into this category, but it still strikes me as unusual because "hero" is often reserved as a term for brawny males in tight costumes. I also find it strange that my heroes are constant elements of my daily life. These women that impress me and inspire me are my mom, my sister, my daughter and my wife.

Clearly, seeing my mom yesterday sparked this train of thought. She has been wrestling for years with the strain of needing to leave the state, while still desiring a close proximity to my sister and my family. While mom would be someone special to me no matter what (she managed to birth me and my giant head after all), yesterday touched me deeply. After all this time, my mom is nearly ready to leave behind the world she has known for the past thirty-five years. I share a number of traits with my mom, but one of the most glaring is our aversion to change. Neither of us likes the idea of uprooting everything. I know that this idea of leaving Minnesota scares her, but it was amazing to hear her own that. She is clearly still struggling, but she is pushing herself forward because she knows it is the right thing to do. I also know that she worries, as I too often do, what others might be thinking about her. Even in that, she has rallied her spirits and is preparing herself to do this frightening thing. I am so proud of her and hope that I can continue to muster that level of strength to face my own struggles.

Certainly as impressive is my sister. She has been a rock for mom throughout all of the difficulty of the past few years. My sister lives closer to my mom, but has done far more than her share in being present for mom. While I can use my health and own struggle as an excuse, the reality is that my sister is a much stronger person than I am. She and my mom have clashed horribly at times, but my sister never gives up on my mom. For a long time, my similarities to my mother kept me away from the entire situation because I could not separate my own issues from those of my mother. While I am more like mom, my sister certainly has plenty of my mom's quirks too. Yet, she has constantly been able to rise above those and help our mother in countless ways. That depth of character awes me. I only hope that I can eventually grow up and be like my little sister.

I have a small part of me that wishes my third hero would never grow up, but I know that all young girls must someday become amazing women. My daughter amazes me. She exudes life and excitement every moment of every day. She loves to make music - on her trombone, on the keyboard, in her head, with her words. The amazing part is that she looks for new ways to challenge herself. My daughter loves to learn for the sake of gaining knowledge. She reads like mad and loves almost every book that she reads. Even if she doesn't like the book, she works to finish and appreciates the story for what it is. She is also an amazing poet. At 11 she has more linguistic skill than I have mustered in my entire life. The most amazing thing about her, though, is her tolerance for her grumpy, sleepy dad. Because of her high energy and my wife's busy work schedule, my daughter tends to bear the brunt of my ill will. While she certainly does some improper things at times, no one deserves to be the constant target of a grouchy narcoleptic. Yet, she not only handles it well, but she also forgives me even when I am a complete jerk. I regularly pray to have the patience and poise of my daughter.

In fact the only person who dazzles me more than my daughter is my wife. If anyone has ever earned a trip straight to the pearly gates, it is the incredible woman who has put up with me for almost 17 years of marriage and over 21 years since our first kiss. My wife is the best writer and editor I have ever known. She daily helps doctors and professors improve grants and papers for publication. Even more impressive is her ability to help others learn how to become better at the craft of writing. But, beyond all of her professional accomplishments, she is an unbelievable mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend. She gives love constantly and manages to maintain a crazed household in spite of her narcoleptic husband. I adore her and wish I could find her drive and compassion within myself, simply so I could give her as much love as she gives me.

I am blessed to know my heroes. I get the chance to bask in their amazing talents every single day. I hope I can continue to grow in both my appreciation of these stunning women and my emulation of them. I am lucky to have them in my life. I am even luckier to know that I can continue to draw inspiration from them as I continue my own journey in living with narcolepsy.