Giddy, Goofy and Great

I am beside myself. For months I have waited for May 31st to arrive. Suddenly, the day will dawn tomorrow! I will, at 10 AM, sit down with other narcoleptics. While Facebook and MySpace have been amazing, I can not find words to capture my sheer exuberance at having the chance to talk with others who also endure this crazy condition. I don't even have a context for this. Trading stories online is one thing, but having the chance to see the laughter and tears and frustration and joy that another narcoleptic experiences as she or he is able to share completely eclipses my frame of reference.

My enthusiasm even makes the ridiculousness of my day pale in comparison. Today, I had one of the most unnerving moments yet with my narcolepsy. I know that my short term memory has taken a decided turn for the worse of late. I also know that I have stretched myself well beyond my coping skills in the last week. Still, I figured that my last Friday of the school year would be fairly uneventful. My first two classes went well - great discussions about Hayao Miyazaki's Spirited Away. I then headed to lunch. While I did not bring food today, I figured it would be nice to relax and hang out before my meeting during the second half of the period. I needed to urinate so I headed into the bathroom. As I placed my water bottle and computer on the shelf in the restroom, I realized that I had forgotten my fanny pack upstairs. Now, walking back up would be annoying, but not difficult. The bigger issue was that I had forgotten my amphetamine yesterday and knew that I would likely do that again unless I made that walk back upstairs. As I stood at the urinal, I berated myself for not being more conscious of my meds. As I finished, I began to become aware of the weight around my waist. It then dawned on me that I never removed my fanny pack today. It was still around my waist. The more embarrassing/ridiculous aspect of the entire ordeal is that, as I was berating myself for forgetting my fanny pack, I was moving it out of the way so I could pee! In typical fashion I got even more upset with myself about that, even though I now knew that I had my medicine. Crazy!

Fortunately, I knew it would be a great story and was able to laugh about it within minutes. I also knew that it was a small blip in my day BECAUSE tomorrow I get to meet other narcoleptics. It is stunning that even the idea of a support group can fill me with such joy. Hopefully, I will be even MORE excited after the meeting tomorrow. I am well aware that a support group can't solve or change anything about my narcolepsy. But, it can provide me with a whole new set of people who understand and share my frustration and grief and anxiety and humor about this twisted and troublesome disease.

Finally, I also have a trip to see a friend to enjoy tomorrow. One of my students from my summer course will be graduating from high school. He asked me three or four years ago if I would come to his graduation. We have discuss it off and on through all of these years, but it will actually work for me to be there. I love that I mean enough to him that he would ask me to be present. I also know that he feels honored that I would choose to drive across the state for this important moment. Tomorrow is going to be wonderful in so many ways! Now, I just need to get to sleep so May 31st will finally arrive. How weird is it that I am more excited for this than I have been for Christmas morning during the last few years? Wild!