Serendipity and Liars

Long ago, I had the chance to teach M. Scott Peck's book, The Road Less Traveled. Aside from using a line from a favorite Frost poem, I felt drawn to the book. While many of the stories and ideas had tremendous impact on me and my students, his discussion of serendipity fascinated me. The idea is that the right things often happen at the right time. One could try to use the word luck as a synonym, but serendipity feels far more intentional than blind luck. Peck's stories from his patients amazed me, but then I began to consider my own life. I found multiple examples of serendipity. I tend to use the concept of God, rather than serendipity, but the implication is the same. Periodically, we are lead to a greater sense of the world and ourselves by a force, a being, an entity far greater than ourselves. I also know that I am in one of those times right now.

Whether it is my incredible experiences of connecting with people in Facebook and MySpace (particularly around narcolepsy) or the act of writing this blog, numerous events have screamed at me that something much bigger is happening. The latest instance is a therapy approach called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). It is used primarily for people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. A wonderful friend with whom I have recently reconnected (through Facebook no less) has been undergoing the treatment and suggested I look into it. Then, a woman I have never met raised PTSD in one of the Narcolepsy discussion topics. After trading a series of messages, we both released there were an unusual number of links between us. Finally, while exploring it further on the EMDR Institute's website, I found a list of therapists trained in EMDR. One of them is the mother of another dear friend. I know I need to pay attention to this.

I discussed EMDR with my therapist today, partly to process this serendipity that has struck and partly to get her reaction. She and I both agreed that I don't seem to have a clear event of PTSD, which would make EMDR a strange route to pursue. At the same time I do think it is worthwhile for me to examine my traumatic life events to see if one or more of them does have legs. I may also at least discuss the treatment generally with my friend's mom. The bottom line is that all of this is pushing me to explore my own psyche more. That is fantastic.

Peck has been on my mind for another reason too. He wrote another book called People of the Lie. The premise of that one is that certain people simply can't help but manipulate others. They are driven to think only of individual advancement and glory. When I first read that, I could not conceive of anyone who would fit so awful a description. But, as with serendipity, I began to realize that I have known people like that. In fact I had encountered them in many places. Recently, the book has come to the fore due to my wife's job. Multiple times each week, she needs to unload (on me) her frustration with a colleague who fits Peck's people of the lie perfectly. In many ways it is sad because it has driven my wife batty. She desperately needs to decompress, at times almost daily, because of the poison that this person injects into their office. Worst of all, the individual honestly believes that these actions are benefiting others, rather than simply existing as self-promotion. Thankfully, I believe my wife may not have to deal with this person much longer. Even last night, though she works to avoid this person, she needed to talk to know that she is not crazy. She hadn't even had a direct interaction, but the power of this liar (I am taking license with Peck's idea here) is so strong that even indirect contact can significantly wound someone as intelligent and as amazing as my wife. How sad!

I feel blessed to have had this chance to read Peck's work. It certainly has merit. Then again, as my students would tell you, I tend to find connections and insights everywhere. I get a little too excited about life in general.