Curve Balls

Maybe it was a result of watching the Twins win today, but curve balls are on my mind. I have been working hard to "discover my limits." Unfortunately, I once again seem to have tried too much, too soon. Certainly, I have been feeling off for a week, but today I felt even worse. I am doing my knee exercises and attempting to get work done in the house and for school. That seems like so little to ask. I wasn't even deluding myself into thinking I would get EVERYTHING done (well, maybe I thought it for a moment or two). What seems completely unfair is that after expending what seems like a reasonable amount of energy, I have a fever!

The fever is not high - 99.5, but I tend to temp (or at least I did before stimulants) around 97. I had a lovely dance with the flu in February and ran a similar fever for about four days. Now, I sweat through at least two shirts most nights these days, but I am close to changing my shirt BEFORE I even go to bed. The thing that has upset me the most tonight, however, is that this wrinkle kept me from my men's group. While this blog is helping me a great deal, and I am beginning to make connections with other narcoleptics, my men's group has been one of the major stabilizing forces in my life for the last fifteen years. I missed two weeks ago, so now it will have been five weeks by the next time I get to the group. The connection I have made with these guys is vital to staying in check.

I realize, that whatever is going on in my body tonight, I have no control over it. Still, I find it maddening that even when I work to do "the right things," I am forced to deal with unforeseen annoyances out of left field. Sorry about the excessive baseball allusions, but it was a great game. Seriously - Morneau drove home the winning run with two on and two out in the bottom of the tenth.

I know that taking care of me means listening to my body and accepting when fevers flair. It also does me no good to rail against the injustice of it all. A pity party will not get me to men's group and certainly will do me no good mentally or emotionally. That being said, moments like these are the ones that make narcolepsy, and my entire health journey, mind blowingly aggravating. I am sure some sleep will help, except I don't sleep well. Darn!